Tag Archive | life

Dear Universe

Dear Universe,

Let me wake up and smile
forgetting the tears of yesterday.
Let me enjoy the sunlight
forgetting that it once burnt me.

Let me wake up feeling energized
instead of fatigued and exhausted
from the thoughts that haunt me late at night
and the heaviness that won’t leave my heart.

Let me get that text or that call,
let me remember what it feels like
to be loved, to be remembered.
Let me know someone cares.

Bring me all the things I’ve been asking for,
the things you took away for so long.
Let today be the day you bless me.
Let today be the day you grant me my wishes.

Tell the sun to shine its light on me.
Let it overshadow the darkness.
Let it burn all the pain.
Let it warm my frozen heart.

Tell the stars to keep shining,
tell the galaxies to put a spell on me.
Let them remind me of my own magic.
Let them remind me of my own power.

Dear Universe, please be kind,
let me know that you can still hear me,
let me know that you miss me too
and that you still want me.

Dear Universe, let’s start over,
let’s be on the same team,
let’s stop being enemies
and start being one.

Rania Naim

Advertisements

Colonial Mentality : A Hundred year of Slavery

I read somewhere that the reason why Philippines is poor is that: We don’t love our country enough. True indeed.  We blame each other instead of helping. We dislike our government. We desire to see big, beautiful and bold platforms from  our public officials rather than doing something in our own little way to help ourselves. Many people go overseas with the intent of  not coming back to the country they called broken. Isn’t it sad?…

When I went overseas to the Middle East, there was no day that passed by that I didn’t wish of coming back home to the  Philippines. Out there I saw inequalities between men and women. There was very limited freedom to speak, and write and do  what you want. It was oftentimes no fun. Here in the Philippines, liberty is a fundamental right. But we do not value our own. We’re still slaves of the past. We feel inferior and we think that without  foreign aid, we’re doomed.

I love Philippines. I have always do and I always will. I do not understand why there are so many Filipinos who hate being one. I  do not understand why there are many Filipinos who would rather exchange who they are with somebody else abroad.. Its a sad,  sad thing.. I have read many forums and I often found that instead of defending our own we defend others. Why is that?..I do not  understand. We look to our own with disdain with the slightest mistake but we claim those half-Filipinos who made it to the world.

There is so much more to the Philippines. We have rich natural resources, we have great tourism, we have hailed many beauty  queens, we have housed many talents. We have enough.. While people in Africa do not even have enough water to drink;  women in some parts of the middle East couldn’t even ride a bike. .

I hope we learn how to instill in our hearts the sense of patriotism – the love for one’s country. It is our home. Don’t  we know there are many foreign expats out there who admire us? they even write about us. why? because they have seen  something great about us that we probably have failed to see. Where is the undying spirit of compassion and courage that we  show to each other when we face calamities? Do we need the devil to unleash demons upon us to realize that we, ourselves, are our own savior, not others?

Our President has been receiving flak because of his ‘loud’ mouth. Well, at some point, I agree that he’s crossing boundaries too much but I don’t believe that he deserves a ‘psychopath’ label. In fact, I admire his staunch courage of professing love for his own. We are chained to this colonial mentality and we hate the president who is trying to untie us.

We probably are third world country but in no way that we are inferior. I wonder when we’ll ever be truly independent  economically, socially and most importantly mentally.

As long as the Filipino people have not enough spirit to proclaim, brow held high and breast bared, their right to a free society, and to maintain it with their sacrifices, with their very blood; as long as we see our countrymen privately ashamed, hearing the cries of their revolted and protesting conscience, but silent in public, or joining the oppressor in mocking the oppressed; as long as we see them wrapping themselves up in their selfishness and praising the most iniquitous acts with forced smiles, begging with their eyes for a share of the booty, why give them freedom?” ~EL FILIBUSTERISMO

Image result for chain and slavery

Pls come back, Miss

It has been a while since my last post. I went underground for many months! I guess its time for me to come back. 🙂

Truth is, I haven’t gotten the enthusiasm to write not until yesterday when my boss found this creepy and freaky blog of mine online. That I decided to check on this again. That was sick. I mean I let strangers read my posts even some of my friends but knowing that your boss might read your musings about your personal life, opinion, heartaches, dreams, the other side of you that’s strangely different from the version of yourself you present to your workplace- that’s totally sick. I’m gonna have a fever. haha

Okay, I’m cool. I’m cool. I missed you WordPress. I’ll be online again.

And to start with:

I’m saying HELLO!!!

 

img_20161106_160848

Awakening

So I finally had the courage to write. It took  many months to figure things out and get back on my feet. I guess, It takes a good fall sometimes to finally realize the things that matter. pain makes us a better person isn’t it? This year has been difficult to me and I have made mistake but I’ve learned. I’ve learned the hard way so to speak.

There was a time in my life when I decided that the only way to be happy to is shut the cruel world out. I have my beautiful family, I have a job, I have wonderful friends. What could be more better than that? But that’s not how the way things are. Sometimes, we have to face our demons in order to grow.

Life is not a fairy tale. And after so much hesitation, I tried and just like that, just like that my life shattered into a million pieces.

I had fallen down. I suffered silently in my misery. I had to hide my true self behind a mask of a happy face. Fake it until you make it, eventually I made it, gradually the light started to creep in. I didn’t want to stay broken.

Today,  I am so close to being real. Still in pain getting a lot better. The key to being better, I realized is acknowledging my pain and reconnecting with my soul.

I was in dark and cold place. It’s like I was trapped inside an iceberg that no one could ever crack unless I decide to get out on my own free will  and I didn’t want to stay there anymore. I miss the sunshine.

I made baby steps, slowly tried to reconnect with the real world. Through denial, resistance, I found acceptance and forgiveness and finally was able to make peace with my past and the people who caused me pain. Above all, I learned toforgive myself for my mistakes. I have loved and I have lost. I have abandoned myself inside

..and I am claiming it back.

 

jenaraismyname_awakening

Love, Rosie

“Our life is made up of time; our days are measured in hours, our pay measured by those hours, our knowledge is measured by years.

We grab a few quick minutes in our busy day to have a coffee break. We rush back to our desks, we watch the clock, we live by appointments.

And yet your time eventually runs out and you wonder in your heart of hearts if those seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years and decades were being spent the best way they possibly could.

In other words, if you could change anything, would you?”
Cecelia Ahern, Love, Rosie

Would I?

1:30AM

I’m Not The Girl You Fall in Love With

It took me a whole lot of time to realize why. And it was simple, laughably so. I am hard to love because I’m not the girl you fall in love with.

I’m possibly the woman you respect. The woman you admire. The woman you’d like to come home to. The woman who forces you to question perspectives you’ve been living with for years. The woman who rattles your preconceived notions of what YOU like. The woman you look at and wonder ‘how? How does she do that?’ The woman you look to for strength and support. The woman who makes you realize how large the world is, and can be. The woman you’d turn to when you need advice. The woman who makes a man out of you.

But I’m not the girl you fall in love with. I’m not the girl you want to spend hours with, just staring at each other. The girl you try so hard to get a smile out of. The girl whose hands you want wrapped up in yours. The girl who’s so beautiful, so delicate, that she makes you want to fight the world for her.

I’m not the girl you can protect from herself, because I’m not fragile enough to break at every step. I’m hardened, and I have battle scars that possibly mirror yours. I’m not ashamed of the marks, and blemishes, and bruises on my body and mind. They’re mine, and they tell my story. I won’t walk meekly, always a step behind you. I’ll walk with you. Push you, just as much as I push myself.

This makes me difficult to love, because you can’t wrap my love around yourself. No. You’ll have to bend, too, and that will chafe at you. Eventually, you might leave, just because you found a girl who makes you happy, instead of a woman who made you think.

I’m not the girl you fall in love with. I’m the woman you learn to love..

Thought Catalog

little-girl-570865_1280

image source: pixabay