Awakening

So I finally had the courage to write. It took  many months to figure things out and get back on my feet. I guess, It takes a good fall sometimes to finally realize the things that matter. pain makes us a better person isn’t it? This year has been difficult to me and I have made mistake but I’ve learned. I’ve learned the hard way so to speak.

There was a time in my life when I decided that the only way to be happy to is shut the cruel world out. I have my beautiful family, I have a job, I have wonderful friends. What could be more better than that? But that’s not how the way things are. Sometimes, we have to face our demons in order to grow.

Life is not a fairy tale. And after so much hesitation, I tried and just like that, just like that my life shattered into a million pieces.

I had fallen down. I suffered silently in my misery. I had to hide my true self behind a mask of a happy face. Fake it until you make it, eventually I made it, gradually the light started to creep in. I didn’t want to stay broken.

Today,  I am so close to being real. Still in pain getting a lot better. The key to being better, I realized is acknowledging my pain and reconnecting with my soul.

I was in dark and cold place. It’s like I was trapped inside an iceberg that no one could ever crack unless I decide to get out on my own free will  and I didn’t want to stay there anymore. I miss the sunshine.

I made baby steps, slowly tried to reconnect with the real world. Through denial, resistance, I found acceptance and forgiveness and finally was able to make peace with my past and the people who caused me pain. Above all, I learned toforgive myself for my mistakes. I have loved and I have lost. I have abandoned myself inside

..and I am claiming it back.

 

jenaraismyname_awakening

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