What it feels like to be FREE

During the weekend, I transferred to a new apartment. I still feel exhausted today, but of course, I need to come to the office.

I started living out at the age of 16. I have lived in many places,(this is my 11th actually), in the provinces, in the big city, even outside the country. I have seen many faces too,  different races, and thus, I had mockingly gave myself the titles :” “Citizen of the World, Batang Palaboy, Sexy Nomad, The Wanderer and Dora the Explorer!’

Being independent is both fulfilling and exhausting. There are times when you are soo tired but you have nobody to fix your bed. You don’t have your Momma to cook you a delicious breakfast. Sometimes you are sick and you still need to stand up because nobody’s gonna buy medicine for you. Sometimes, I get so lonely too and I cried wishing I’m home. I certainly know what it feels like to be hungry, tired and cold and I got nobody. However, I don’t regret the way I chose my life to be. I am learning a lot – new things, new experiences, new strategies to survive. *lol. I believe that if you stay in the place where you are too comfortable, you are not going to learn. The ladies who just wait for the support from their men are long dead. Today, women need to be as tough as they can be.It adds confidence when you know you have the courage to live on your own. I am so lucky to have a very supportive family and I thank them for believing in me in spite of their worries. I have been doing fine on my own for a long time now. I can eat raw rice if that’s the only way for me to learn how to cook. I can fall down, if that’s the only way to strengthen my knees. I can cry so I can know what it means to be happy. I don’t mind having to work my wings. I don’t mind the hardships. I am not scared of falling. It’s always good to be free! I can leave anytime I want,I can go home anytime I want.I am given the privilege to test my own feet’s strength and my own capabilities.I am given the responsibility to take care of myself, to be cautious, to plan for the future and to learn how to get along with others. Sweet! and when the glory of having best friends comes to fore, how could I not love being free? It’s great to have friends. Real friends!

Maybe I am meant to be like this. Moving around, leaving, coming back.. And if Lilo said that she remembers everyone that leaves, maybe I would reverse that to : I do remember everyone I left. I wish I can carry everyone with me but I cannot and sadly I cannot stop changes. Some of the things and people I left, changed, some totally went away. I understand that. There’s always a price for freedom..

I told myself that if one day I get enough finance, I would buy my own house and lot. That dream house I designed when I was in grade school.
I wanted to have my own house, because I never had one..I only had a home..

freedom

Alright, so enough of me blabbering here. I need to go home, unpack and arrange things again.Goodluck to me! 😀

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